Science experiment vs. Bleach

Remember in middle school when you used to get soooo excited over science projects? You used to love to make things boil, foam, and change colors. 

I channeled this spirit recently. See, my favorite white t-shirt had a mysterious stain. So I went to Wal-mart to get something to remove said mysterious stain. I could have simply purchased bleach. It certainly would have done the job. However, I decided to buy this:

 It looks exactly like a science project, right? You have to pour the powder in just as the water is simmering and stir it for like 30 minutes. 

What could go wrong right???

In my world something ALWAYS goes wrong. ALWAYS.

So my roommate and I slowly began to notice that a very putrid smell was beginning to take over the entire apartment. Within minutes the whole place smelled exactly like four-week-old Easter eggs you never did find after the Easter egg hunt.

Air Wick Clean Linen spray DID NOT mask the odor. It failed me for the first time ever. Therefore we had to resort to this: 

The fan is slowly pulling the rotten-egg smell out of the apartment and replacing it with cleaner, fresher air. The watermelons serve no other purpose other than to keep the door open. People outside our apartment even noticed the smell we were slowly filtering out the door. It was seriously a god-awful smell. 

I'm pretty sure Crystal and I lost a few hundred brain cells due to the smell. So much for a science project. And the worst part: my shirt is still stained. 

Grace

Twin???

I made a discovery tonight.... Dakota Fanning has been casted for the new Twilight  movie, New Moon. She doesn't have a major role, but she will be in the film. It just so happens that I like Dakota Fanning and her work. It ALSO just so happens that Dakota Fanning is my twin... Really, she is. Take a look for yourself:

Me: ( This is a REALLY OLD picture of me from my junior year of high school and is not very good quality but I thought it worked best for this purpose. Please forgive the odd light on my mouth/cheek. Thank you.)

Dakota Fanning:

Do you see the resemblence????????????

Don't try to say that I am crazy either....TONS of people tell me that I look like her ALL the time. This one man I know doesn't even call me by my real name anymore; he just calls my Dakota. 

I even took the time to break down and highlight the similarities. 

Black arrows: We are both blondes!

Red arrows: We both have small upper lips!

White arrows: We both have the same nose!

Blue arrows: We both have tiny dimples that only show when we are smiling really hard!

BUT WAIT! THERE IS MORE!

 While I was googling pictures of Dakota Fanning ( I am only taking the time to do this because I simply can't fall asleep....just if you were wondering.) I also found some rather intriguing facts about the young actress that I am going to share with you.

1. She was born in Georgia.

              a. I was born in Tennessee! We are both from the South!

2. She had several issues and procedures done on her teeth.

              a. I had braces and retainers for like 7 years of my life!

3. She made all A's her sophomore year of high 

school except for Geometry.

      a. I had all A's in high school until my sophomore year when I made a B in Geometry!

4. She and most of her family go by their middle names.

              a. My father, brother, and myself all go by our middle names!

All of this simply adds up to one thing:

Dakota Fanning and I were separated at birth (The age difference is merely a trivial factor). I have come to terms with the fact that Dakota was chosen over me at birth to become the famous one. Seriously, I could care less that she gets to go to red carpet events and act alongside Denzel Washington. Whoever separated us at birth did me a favor. Why would I want to be rich and famous by the age of like 16 anyway? Why would I want to be able to have multiple appearances on the Tonight Show and have a role in New Moon? I totally got the better end of the deal. But hey, being the considerate person that I am, I am going to make my dear twin, Dakota, an offer...

I am willing to sacrifice myself and give up my dogs, couch, laptop, and fudge-pops for a couple of weeks to trade places with Dakota so that she might have a break. I mean it is the LEAST I can do for her, after all.

    

  

I'm just saying...

Grace

p.s. Okay, fine...I'll go to bed now....

Tea Parties, Ribs, and Wet Dogs

“To sit back hoping that someday, some way, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last -- but eat you he will.” -- Ronald Reagan

Wake up America.

Open your eyes. 

Take the time to listen to what is actually being said and done.

Does any of it make sense?

No?

Does it make you mad?

Yes?

Oh.

WELL THEN GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Do not trust a few to do the work. YOU must do something. YOU must say something. YOU must act before you no longer have the right to.

------

Ahhh... the 4th of July.... Independence Day....

I love my country.

The family and I had a very fun and busy 4th.

We attended 2 Tea Parties. 

One was held in Jackson, Tennessee. We 

estimated about a thousand in attendance.

We left the Jackson Tea Party a little early so we could drive to the Tipton County Tea Party. We skipped lunch and everything to get there. Let it be known that I NEVER skip lunch unless it is a dire situation. 

I won the sign contest.  If I don't blog for a few days then it is probably because I have been kidnapped by the secret service. Please send help. Don't let them take me!

Like I said above, we skipped lunch. So by the time we left the Tipton County Tea Party, we were HUNGRY. Actually, hungry isn't a strong enough word. I could have eaten my own hand by that point. But that would have been cannibalism, which is frowned upon.

We decided to drive to Memphis and eat at the best place in town: The Rendezvous. Ahhh....it makes my stomach growl just thinking about it.

History Lesson: The Rendezvous has been the best place to get ribs and barbeque since 1948. It can be found in an alley in downtown Memphis. If you are looking for white table clothes and five-course meals, The Rendezvous is not the place for you. If you are looking for the best meal of your life, then you found it.

You can smell the ribs from this place for miles. If they bottled the smell wafting out of the doors, I would buy it and where it as perfume...seriously.

We were lucky because we only had about a 45 minute wait. Some days you would have to wait two hours for a table. Any wait would be worth some of their ribs, though.

One sign that a place is going to have fabulous food is that they slap down several packets of individual wet ones. The messier the food, the better. It's a proven fact.

See that man right there? Yea he is one of the waiters at The Rendezvous and he has been for the past 48 years. Most of the waiters have similar stories. They all have worked there FOREVER, and they all rake in hundreds of dollars in tips most nights. 

This photo has nothing to do with tea parties, The Rendezvous, or the 4th of July. I just took it while we were downtown and thought it was pretty...

We were on the way home when it started raining. 

The bad thing was that we had left Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher in the pen outside. I mean, they had a dog house to seek shelter in, but still. 

Needless to say, they were both utterly, and helplessly filthy and soaked when we finally got home. Therefore, they immediately went to the tub for a quick bath. What a way to end the 4th of July, huh?

This picture depicts them both perfectly. Reagan is always sniffing SOMETHING, in this case, the dog shampoo bottle, and Thatcher is always trying to escape, in this case her prison is the tub. That is my mom's arm if you are wondering. If you weren't, oh well, now you know.

God Bless America.

Grace

Bad veins, Dominoes, and Diets

I coaxed my dear little friend, And (that is her name...not a conjuntion), into going to give blood with me this morning. I had given twice before, but she was a first time donor. 

And perhaps a last time donor judging by the look on her face. 

Actually everything went fine. Well, except for the fact that the Life Blood lady informed me that I had horrible veins and that she was praying about how she was going to stick the needle in my arm. Let me tell you, those are not the most comforting words to hear!

And apparently has very good veins because she drinks a lot of water.

Whatever... I still saved a baby.... PLUS I have the universal blood type!

Beat that little Miss Perfect Veins!

Later on in the evening, we all went out to eat and then back to my house to play a friendly and highly competitive game of Dominoes. It got vicious quickly. 

There are so many things going on in this photo that I decided to break it all down for you guys. I even used colored arrows to make it easier!

All four black arrows: Our cellphones. None of them are more than 6 inches away from our bodies at ALL times. You never know when you might get an important text or call!

Sky Blue Arrow: Lotion. We were all sunburned from spending a day outside in near triple-digit degree weather. Not our brightest idea. 

Purple Arrow: My empty Little Debbie Fudge Round wrapper. Goldie Locks and I have started working out. She has also started counting calories and watching what she eats. I watch what I eat as well...I watch it enter my  mouth, at least. Let's just say she is fighting a loosing battle if she is attempting to get me to count anything beside how many fudge pops I can eat in one sitting!

White Arrow: This is a butter churn (in case you were wondering). We have had this churn, and many churns like it, in my household since I was born. Don't ask me why. We don't churn butter or anything. 

Lime Green Arrow: Goldie Locks is counting and tallying up the points from the round of dominoes we just finished playing. Goldie Locks counts EVERYTHING from points, to days, to how many red M&M's are left. I promise that if you asked her, at this very moment, how many days there are till Christmas, she would know. Or at the very least she would have a wonderful amount of fun figuring it up. 

Red Arrow: I AM WINNING AT DOMINOES! See how I only have one little ole' domino left??? I did, in fact, win not only that round, but the entire game!

Here are the final scores (lowest amount of points wins):

Me: 207

And : 212

Goldie Locks: 230

Hope: 422

I love my life (and my veins!). Amen.

Grace

Grandmother

I found this picture today of my grandmother during WW2 standing next to a plane on a airbase. Its pretty cool looking, isn't it? I love vintage stuff. My grandmother and I really look alike don't we?

This is me, obviously, by the same plane that my grandmother was by in the above picture. ( I realized that said plane isn't too far from where I live)

 

Mammaw                            Me

See how much we look alike! We are even wearing similar clothing!

Grace

Swamp Ripley Believe it or Not

We were told that our neighborhood had no drainage problems.

Really?

Take a look at what happened while it rained this afternoon.

Monday, June 15th 5:34 p.m. Dogwood Trails: 

But you know what? I kind of like my neighborhood and its swamp-ish state. It opens up all sorts of opportunities. I can buy really cute, polka dotted rain boots, and a colorful umbrella, and a boat... 

Cars are so overrated, anyway. 

 I have always wanted a lake house.

Grace

P.S. Anyone have access to an ark that will hold two of each animal on earth?

Traveling Grace

Goldie Locks invited me to go on vacation with her and her family. I, of course, accepted. So that's where I have been for the past week...on vacation with Goldie Locks in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

Let me say one thing before we move on. I live in the flattest part of Tennessee possible. Not that it isn't beautiful in it's own way; it is just really flat. I mean, sure, we have hills and gullies...duh...just no mountains. 

Get the picture?

Okay, let's begin:

We went horse back riding through the mountains, but that is a story for another day. Let me just say that I learned one lesson:  A horse is not a bunny rabbit.

Ripley's Aquarium. 

View from Clingman's Dome (a.ka.: highest point on mountain). 

 I love how the parking lot of Clingman's Dome looks like it is just floating around on the clouds. We really were in the clouds, though. Just not floating in them, but you probably knew that...

Laurel Falls. WARNING: ROCKS ARE SLIPPERIER ( is that a word?) THAN THEY APPEAR. PROCEED WITH CAUTION ACROSS ROCKS SO THAT YOU DO NOT SLIP AND FALL TO YOUR DEATH.

I almost did... fall to me death, that is. I recovered beautifully, though. I don't think anyone even noticed that I slipped and almost fell to my death. However, I don't know if its a good thing or bad thing that no one noticed. While I am glad that I was saved the embarrassment, I would kind of like for someone to notice if I fell to my death. 

I love everything about the mountains. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to move to some mountainous state like Montana. I may not be a little girl anymore, but I still want to live in the mountains one day, and have horse, and tons of dogs, and a lake, and a cowboy....

Therefore I am going to ask/beg one thing of you:

Is anyone living in the mountains willing to house a eighteen-year-old girl??????

She cooks and cleans!

She loves children and animals!

She doesn't mind getting dirty and working hard on you ranch/ farm/ plantation!

Anyone offers???

*crickets* Anyone listening???

Grace 

To My Secret Admirer

So I got online today to find that I had a new comment on one of my posts. 

This is what it read:

Anonymous said...

hello, gracie- i just want you to know i am in love with you and have been for a very long time. i am so afraid to tell you to your face, not knowing how you would feel. just please, beautiful, give me a chance
with love,
your secret admirer.

All of my friends denied it; of course, they would. I told them that I found it quite hilarious, but they still denied it. I told them that I wasn't the least bit mad or upset, but still they denied it. I told them that they should just own up to it because it was hysterical, but still they denied it. 

So for now, I shall go along with it. 

As long as my secret admirer is one of these guys:

Grace

Goldie Locks gets a haircut

Goldie Locks decided to get a haircut today. Of course, Mother Grace had to go moral support.

She needed a lot of moral support.

Find your happy place, Goldie Locks, find your happy place!!

Lookin' good, Goldie Locks!

Grace

Mad Woman in the Attic?

My mother and I were in what we call " A Throwing Away Mood" today. Therefore we decided to tackle the attic and all of the pure, unadulterated, unexplainable, useless junk that it holds/ held. 

This is what we pulled down from said attic:

I had no idea that there was this much stuff in our attic. I expected to find that crazy lady that Rochester hid in the attic in Jane Erye or a Jumangi game board at any moment.

As I looked over the piles and piles of stuff that Mother and I had to now sort through, I decided to not really contemplate the fact that I probably had no less than ten brown recluses crawling all over me, or the fact that it was going to take a few hours to properly go through everything. 

Instead, I decided to go to my "happy place" :

This is my happy place. 

My mother and I found this among the rubble. It is a doll house that someone made for me when I was younger. However, now it resembles something leftover after a hurricane. Hmmm... Hurricane Barbie maybe?

One good thing did come from the hours I spent helping my mother go through the fifty years of crap she had shoved into our attic; I found plenty of dishes, glasses, and silverware for college. Aren't they pretty and speckled! :)

Grace

Beasts

I  begged my parents for a little, petite, delicate, inside dog for years. I dreamed of carrying around my tiny pet in the cutest little bags and dressing her up in adorable sweaters. This is what I got:

Meet Beast #1; otherwise known as Ronald Reagan. He is three years old, loves day-long naps, anything edible, long walks, squeaky toys, and of course his owner, me. Reagan is the biggest beagle you will ever see, weighing between 50-60 lbs. However, do not make the assumption that Reagan is fat; he is merely stocky.  

Meet beast #2; otherwise known as Margaret Thatcher. She loves playing fetch, splashing all of the water out of her bowl, sleeping at your feet, getting as dirty as possible, and following her brother (Ronald Reagan) around. I received her as a graduation present, however, she has actually become my mother's dog. Thatcher, a nine-week old dalmation/ husky mix, will be replacing me in the family once I leave for college. 

For a few rare moments of the day, Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher play with each other peacefully. These harmonious occasions are shortly lived, however. 

Usually their relationship resembles something found on the discovery channel. 

They bite.

They snarl.

They growl.

They claw.

They attack.

But moments like these make all of the rest slip from your mind. 

 I love my beasts. Amen.

Grace